Jonathan and the Presidency at full valium

The Turf Game (Jimanze Ego-Alowes, alowesjimanze@yahoo.com) 08033009539
Thursday, September 22, 2011

It is pretty evident now, that promoters of the Jonathan presidency are in sack clothes and in mourning. However readers of 2TGame will recall that we predicted that Jonathan as a person does not cut much ice. We suggested that Jonathan’s saving grace was his party the PDP, a genus of honest and Naijamaniacally all inclusive thieves.

Moralists, imams, general overseers, fools, editorial board chairmen, editors, technocrats and techno-thieves, North and South, they are all gathered like rain-soaked vultures over a dead and dying big game, Nigeria, for a royal banquet, courtesy the PDP princes of power and darkness. On 17-03-11 we wrote; while a Jonathan scores lowly in the many indices of great leadership…. And to worsen matters Jonathan shows some pettiness….yes Jonathan as a transformational leader is bad news….

We however preferred the tragedy of Jonathan to the competing farces of the CPC and ACN which are sectional, even tribal wolves acting in nationalist clothing. Yes we said so and stand by that. Do-gooders claimed Jonathan was a breath of fresh air and we at 2TGame neither saw the air nor felt the freshness. So we can say we are not in the least betrayed and or ambushed by the legendarily poor and tragic performance of boy Joe and or the party of thieves. Up PDP! Where is the money? Up PDP! Please share the money and the corruption, all Nigeria needs it! Ahiazuwa.

And I so happened at a chic neighborhood joint to cut some beer. And the talk was Jonathan, O! Jonathan! And the reporter in me won’t just let go, so I secretly switched on my tape recorder. Following are the excerpts of the minute ala one Dr. Abey Okei as he harshly announced himself.
But Jonathan is not entirely in error. I blame all of his mis-fortune on the resident Aso Rock Chief Medical Officer. In fact judging by the results available we can say the Nigerian trained physician is viciously incompetent. One, it is obvious he prescribes for Jonathan the full dosage intake of valium and then a little more. So often the presidency is drowsy and full of the sleep of the dead and the years. And worse there is no sense of power and or quickness in her. And Jonathan is like the barely awake man trying to criss-cross a busy Abuja fast speed auto-way. And the fault we all must find the courage, is not Jonathan’s. It is his physician’s.

But the presidency kills. Power kills. All of Hitler, Churchill, Stalin, Kennedy, Nasser, etc, were all ill, afflicted by power. Power is poison and a poisoned chalice. I am yet to see a dictator who is not sick and sickened. Power gives insomnia and ultimately madness. It is dangerous for virgins to know dictators without their chastity belts on, my grandmother vowed. A dictator loves blood and in blood. In fact I can tell for free now a long held secret. Obj was suffering from insomnia and was pretending to be over-working and was deceiving Atiku his then 2ic.

It was a virulent infestation he contracted from power and dictatorship. By 2am, unable to sleep, rolling restlessly about his bed, thrilled, romancing and copulating with his sense of power, he did amuse himself; Let me call that uniformed-civilian, as soldiers call customs’ men. Atiku, come on bring that file on privatization and call me the Perm-Sec he needs to answer some query immediately. Atiku, poor boy, half asleep, will rush to meet his commander at that unholy hour when sleep remains one, that one last, but sweetest round, as the angels visit. And they would visit and not see Atiku and his political bad luck begins and never ends!

Power robs you of your brains and replaces it with freshly baked ego, ready to rise ego, rather like scrotal hernia. In that sense the presidency is worse than a prison, but only gypsies and Jews, bandits and poets, that is honest, and not necessarily innocent poets, are let into this world secret. Maybe something worse, some asylum really. But no man gets any smarter because he makes or gets the presidency and or more power. Power confers only ego never wisdom. Therefore the president says I have ego therefore I am and I rule.QED

Why would anyone expect Tyson to come out smarter? He went to the presidency, sorry the prison for three years, not Princeton. Lou Duva. Every power man, every powerful man is a sick and ailing man. And politicians are all brazen pick-pockets. They use your votes to con you. You vote they win. You don’t vote and you lose. And the PDPs are a notorious genus of politicians. Lord have mercy upon us miserable offenders.

And if you ask me I did say; Aso-Rock needs a new physician and this urgently. A physic who can calibrate precisely, like they do in White House and London, what mix of steroid and valium a president needs, so that he neither oversleeps, nor is he to be troubled by incontinent erection. I have an excellent physician and if only for patriotism, I did send him on locum and pro bono, to help out with the presidential prescriptions.

And this is a national emergency, just before any fatal accident hits the drowsy and or half-blind crossing an Abuja highway, political and or otherwise.
Now dear reader does the president need a new physician, less valium and or more steroids? 2TGame. Ahiazuwa.

via Daily Sun